Sadly, We Won’t See Her Beautiful Smile Anymore..
Ahn So-jin, or So-jin, was a trainee for DSP Media’s girl-group KARA. The project was called the Kara Project and So-jin was a member of Baby Kara. She committed suicide on 24th of February, 2015. Here’s the story of how and why she would take her own life.
Trainee Ahn So-jin
So-jin was a trainee in DSP Media for five years and was hoping to debut either in KARA or a girl-group called April, where she was included in the pre-debut lineup. in Baby KARA, she was the leader of the group and the one who received the most publicity. Sadly, before she got the chance to debut, DSP Media decided to end their contract with her.
Ahn So-jin and Baby KARA Project
The Baby KARA project was made to find a new member for the KARA girl-group. In this project, it was obvious that she wanted to debut already. Unfortunately, instead of debuting, DSP Media decided to end their contract with her. This could be the trigger for her decision to take her life, although local police told fans and others not to jump to conclusions, as there was no suicide note. In the video below, you can see how hard she was trying to show her talent.
Committing Suicide Because of Depression
So-jin’s body was found by the police in her hometown on the 24th of February, 2015, around 2:07 pm. She was found lying on the garden of the apartment complex where she lived. The police rushed her to the hospital, but, unfortunately, it was too late. The investigation ended when police did not find a suicide note in her apartment on the 10th floor. It was concluded that she jumped from her room, attempting to kill herself.
After losing in the Kara Project, So-jin returned to her hometown and lived there. At the end of the show, she said she wanted to live a happy life even though she was in pain. So-jin tried hard to see the bright side of everything. On the Karaholic website, fans were saddened by her death and assume the cause of her death was because of the depression she had been having for years. One of the fans stated that So-jin’s father forbade her to become an idol, and by losing the project and ending her contract with DSP Media months later, it would be enough of a trigger for her to commit suicide.
So-jin’s family was shocked to see her dead in the hospital. The family was so saddened that they just wanted So-jin to rest peacefully and not do an autopsy. They held a private funeral for her, and she was cremated in the funeral home. The other reason her family decided against an autopsy was because the police found no signs of foul play, thus closing the case as a suicide and following her family’s wishes.
Tribute To Ahn So-jin
The video above is a tribute done by one of her fans. It shows her thoughts in life and the harsh truth about a life as a trainee. When she was asked if was she happy with her life now, she paused for a while before answering that she was happy. It was apparent that she hesitated over whether to answer truthfully or not.
When the interviewer stated that the Kara Project was exhausting and challenging enough that it could make her cry, she broke into tears. She knew how hard it is trying to debut and competing with other members of Baby KARA. At that time, she was 22 years old and she knew that to debut in an idol group a trainee could be no older than 23.
She knew that this could be her last chance. Her fans were sure that she would win the project, but, instead, Youngji won the project and became a KARA member. So-jin and Youngji was pretty close to each other in the Baby Kara’s diary video. So-jin won second place, and but that wasn’t enough to get a debut with KARA.
K-pop Trainee Life and Long-awaited Dream to Debut
Days ago, we were shocked to hear the news that Sulli, the f(x) member from SM Entertainment was dead and believed to have taken her own life. She committed suicide in her apartment and was found by her manager. The struggle of idol before and after debuting is real. As fans, whether or not we like their music or personality, we should not be harsh and over-criticize them. Because we only know what we are allowed to see. We know pictures, or shows on live screens where they were smiling and giving their best appearance to the fans. We don’t know whether they have their own problems deep inside, worries and anxiety that has to stay hidden in order to maintain a stable and good appearance.
In So-jin’s case, most K-pop fans know that trainees get hardly any pay from the company. They have try hard to be the best to debut in a group. Even if the chances are slim, these trainees have a dream and they will do anything to reach it. When she was a trainee, So-jin was at her lowest point of her life. She came from a conservative family where mental illness should not be spoken aloud. She could find help, but she decided to end her life. She may have thought that it would be the best to end it all, so she wouldn’t be struggling anymore.
In reality, trainees who have yet to debut can find other agencies that would accept their talent. So-jin was a talented girl, her singing was beautiful, and her dance was energetic. It is just that she didn’t have anyone to talk about her own problems with. Remember, suicide is not a choice. If you find your life is suffocating, get help; go to a therapist and never give up on your life.